22 Things I don't understand.

1.  Why is a man with gray hair distinguished, a woman with gray hair is an old hag?

2.  Why is my husband fascinated with boxing...hmmm men beating up men??

3.  Why it is my problem when the Internet goes down and my children can't log into their games?

4.  Fish is good for you, but I still can't enjoy it no matter how much I try.  Doesn't seem fair, does it?

5.  Chocolate despite being my favorite food is still not good for me.

6.  Why hasn't anyone noticed that 1984 has arrived?

7.  If drugs are bad for you--and they are, why are pharmaceutical companies
   pushing their drugs on TV?  Don't they think we notice them talking about the side effects despite
   the pictures of rolling hills and soothing sounds?

8.  Viagra.  I don't get it.  Of course a man should go to a hospital if he has an erection for
   more than four hours. My question is what does he do for three hours and forty five minutes
   while's he's waiting to decide if he needs medical intervention?  On second thought,
   maybe I don't really want to know.

9.  Time--it moves too quick now and seemed like forever when I was growing up.  Why?

10. Why does my son thinks he's up to driving a car when he misses the garbage can?  Sure, that
   qualifies him to navigate a three thousand pound weapon.

11. I can see perfectly, it's just that the books seem to be written differently today.  Why should I
   need to move them accross the room so I can read them clearly?

12. Why is it that even though I've run many companies, owned a computer since the 1980's and been
   on the Internet since 1996--hell, I started a company that developed software for DJ's in 1999
   which is now an industry standard, I still find  my 17 year old son can still help me with my
   computers?  Shouldn't I know more than him?

13. When I was growing up I used to ask my parents about "the olden days."  I swore I wouldn't call my
   growing up "the olden days."  I rethought my position when my kids looked at my vinyl record
   collection and asked what they were.  Shhesh.

14. I don't understand how I lived without these things:  a fax machine, a cell phone, e-mail,
   the Internet, my iPhone, cable TV, and a DVR.  In each case within 24 hours of attaining one,
   I couldn't live without them.

15. No matter how tech savvy I am, I'm never going to embrace "texting."  Who has fingers
   small enough?  The cat?

16. I've upgraded my computer, my software, my eye wear, my lifestyle, my home and my car.
  Why can't I upgrade my husband?  Oh wait, I did.  His name is Steve.

17.  What happens to all the socks I buy?  My boys use mine when they can't find
  theirs. I'm considering buying only pink socks to see if that solves the problem.

18.  Forks.  Where do they go?  In my house there seems to be an evil gremlin that
  steals them.

19. Why can my son get up at the crack of dawn when he's going on a field trip and
  can't get up when it's time for school?

20.  Why is it that it takes nine people to do what I do in a day?

21.  Why is it that it costs at least dollar more than it would cost in the first place
  to do it right to then fix a "shortcut"?  Not to mention about twice the time.

22.  When running late, why are all the people in front of you on the road going
   slower than construction equipment?